


all i want for christmas

by tusslee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Homesick Lance (Voltron), M/M, Rated T for language, bc idk how not to swear, holiday good times, p cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 08:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12980016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tusslee/pseuds/tusslee
Summary: “Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don't do that."





	all i want for christmas

**Author's Note:**

> hi. I love Christmas fics and I love these boys. sorry this is complete garbage <3

Lance misses his family, which is nothing new. He’s missed them since day one when all he could think about was telling his siblings about the blue lion and how she had picked _him_ of all people. 

But he misses them especially around the holidays. 

Everyone in the castle is pretty much his makeshift family for all intents and purposes, but they just haven’t been cutting it lately. 

He misses the craziness of his mother, always running around like a chicken with her head cut off for the entirety of December trying to make sure everyone gets at least one thing they want for Christmas even if they’re tight on money. 

His father taking them all to the shops to buy each other little, goofy things that they know regardless of cheapness they’ll love. 

He misses decorating and spending time with grandparents he hasn’t seen in months, big family dinners and the music. He really misses the music.

It’s never been about the presents under their seven year old fake tree. It’s about impromptu wrestling matches and off-key karaoke at the end of the night when everyone’s had a few drinks. It’s about what they _do_ have, not what they don’t. And this year, Lance doesn’t have much at all, and that really fucking sucks. 

He’s been trying to smile through it, Pidge and Hunk have been doing their best to keep his spirits up, which he appreciates. They try to do so casually, but Lance notices, he always does. He knows they worry and they hate seeing him sad, so he grins and bears it, as one does. He loves them and all the effort they’ve been putting into making their Christmas in space feel more like a real Christmas and not as artificial as their holographic tree that Pidge somehow rendered. 

Allura and Coran are entirely too excited about the holiday now that it’s been explained to them. They’re very eager to get all the paladins something, which is what inspires their next space-mall visit. Lance doesn’t complain, he plans on finding something little for his friends too, but doesn’t even know where to start. 

Keith has been the only one who’s seemed a little hesitant with their festive shenanigans and Lance hasn’t had the chance to ask him who pissed in his goo just yet. He figures once they’re free to roam he’ll catch him since Hunk and Pidge have been chomping at the bit to run off together and do some shopping. 

Sure enough, after Shiro insists they all meet back in the food court, they go their separate ways and Keith stands around looking lost.

“What’s the problem?” Lance asks as he sidles up beside him, “Never bought anything nice for someone before?” 

Keith, as expected, frowns at him and crosses his arms over his chest, “As if it matters to you, but I have. It’s just… been a while.”

Lance immediately feels bad because he and Keith both seem to be feeling some type of way this Christmas and the last thing Lance really wants to do is make matters worse. He can’t blame everyone else for his shit mood and he can’t really pick on Keith when he knows the situation. Keith doesn’t have anyone back home and as far as Lance knows, he hasn’t in years. 

“Anyway,” Lance clears his throat and forces a smile that feels transparent, especially since it’s Keith looking at him, “let’s find our lame-o friends something nice for the holidays.” 

 

Keith has never been good at gifts. He’s awkward and either too formal or too casual and it’s a bad time for everyone involved. He _wants_ to get his friends something, but doesn’t even know where to begin. He can hardly remember the last time he really celebrated Christmas anyway. He and Shiro bought things for each other before, but once Shiro disappeared, he hardly even paid attention to the holidays. What was the point?

He’s a little grateful Lance has decided to drag him along because if left to his own devices, there’s no telling what horrid things he’d grab off the shelves. 

Speaking of Lance, though, he’s been a little weird lately. Or, maybe not weird, but sad. Keith knows Lance has a huge family and that holidays like this are probably important to him, so he can hardly imagine what it’s like to be without them. He doesn’t like seeing Lance down and out, none of them do, and he knows he’s been trying to hide it, but Lance is an open book.

If Keith were a little more empathetic he’d probably try and comfort him, but he doesn’t know how to do that either. He leaves it to Pidge and Hunk, who know what buttons to push when to get a genuine smile out of their goofball friend unlike Keith who gets a grimace and sad eyes. 

“Alright,” Lance says, linking his arm with Keith’s as they meander along with the flow of traffic, “we’ll start with Hunk since I know him like the back of my hand. He could do with some spices, or I guess the space equivalent, something to make the food taste a little better, y’know?”

“Sure.” Keith nods, knows Hunk likes to spend his time in the kitchen whipping up new and yummy things for them to try.

“You’ve got us covered for Shiro?” Lance asks.

“Yeah, I’m sure we can find something he’ll like.” Keith nods again, feeling a little like a bobble head while Lance marches on and tugs them into a shop to peruse the aisles of food that Keith has never, ever heard of.

 

Lance isn’t so sure about Keith and in a way, he never has been. He deemed them rivals only because it gave him something to strive for, a way to always aim to do better, be more, but Keith is only human or so he’s come to find out. He’s not very cool no matter what the fingerless gloves indicate and he’s awkward, hardly personable, and difficult to get along with because he’s so opinionated and hotheaded. But, Lance reasons with himself, that’s what makes him a great rival. Lance pushes and Keith pushes right back.

The more they work together the less Lance sees him as someone to outdo and the more he sees him as someone to stand beside, work with, and care for. Maybe it was one close call too many that changed his mind, but Keith is as important to him as Pidge or Hunk. He’s a little hesitant to say it aloud, but he thinks Keith gets it. 

“How am I supposed to get you something if you’re standing right here?” Keith asks when they’ve managed to find something little for everyone else except for each other. 

“You make a good point, Mullet. See you back here in fifteen?” Lance saw some knives that had Keith’s name written all over them, so he dips as soon as Keith agrees and backtracks the way they came, bags swinging from his wrists. 

Lance’s mood deflates the moment he’s alone and he lets himself wallow while he browses the large array of knives some shady guy is selling. He figures everyone is going to get Keith something sharp and shiny, but he can’t think of anything else to get him. Maybe a more fashionable jacket that actually fits, but Keith is a walking disaster so he doubts he’d wear anything Lance bought him. He sighs as he drags his thumb over the point of a knife, pressing just hard enough to hurt a little. He changes his mind and wanders around for another ten minutes before heading back to where he left Keith.

 

“You didn’t get anything for Keith?” Pidge asks as she and Lance wrap presents in flimsy paper. They’d made sure to hide each other’s gifts before sitting together and wrapping the rest. 

“Nope.” Lance pops the P, doesn’t take his eyes off the book he’d gotten Allura. He doesn’t want to explain himself when he hardly understands his own train of thought. If he says it out loud he’s afraid it’ll become even more real.

“That’s pretty cold.” Pidge mumbles, “I thought you guys were getting along better.”

“We are.” They’re getting along great, better than Lance could have ever hoped, and that’s why he didn’t get him anything. “I’m working on something.” 

Pidge looks up, “You’re making him something?”

“Something like that.” More like he’s working up the courage he’s going to need when the time comes to make a fool of himself. “I’m going to tell you something, but you can’t judge me.”

“Have I ever?” Pidge asks, smirking because they both know the answer. 

Lance takes a deep breath and shoves the wrapped present along with the rest of his tiny pile, “I like Keith.” He declares for the first time ever. It sounds as horrible as it feels.

Pidge purses her lips then nods, “Cool.” She continues wrapping presents as if Lance hasn’t just said _he likes Keith_. 

“That’s it?” He’d been expecting her to at the very least laugh at him, or some kind of disbelief, not this casual acceptance.

“Yeah?” Pidge shrugs, “I like him too, he’s a pretty okay guy once you get past his six layers of awkward and angry. 

“No,” Lance shakes his head and covers his face with his hands, “I _like_ him. I think.”

“What, you think? You have a crush on him Lance, I get it. I was trying to make this less awkward for both of us, but I see I’ve made it worse for you. Congrats, you’re in love.” Pidge rolls her eyes. Lance, ever dramatic.

“Why aren’t you surprised?!”

Pidge sighs, “You’ve always had a thing for him, Lance. I think you didn’t realize it was attraction before because you’ve only ever looked at women like that. You guys always butt heads and it’s a constant push-pull, but I think that’s what both of you need. Besides, you wear your heart on your sleeve and your emotions plain as day on your face. We all could’ve guessed.”

Lance gapes, hands falling away from his burning face to land in his lap. Is he that obvious? Had everyone else known before him? Did Keith know then? He groans then flops back and drags a hand through his hair, pulls, “I’m so fuckin’ dumb.” 

 

Christmas Eve finds them all gathered in the kitchen, hands covered in flour and three trays of ruined cookies lying about while they devour the ones that made it out okay. Lance gives them his best rendition of Blue Christmas with a mouthful, hips swaying and voice smooth even muffled by cookie. 

Pidge keeps trying to hand out presents early, saying none of them _really know_ what time it is anyway, but they all know she of all people knows exactly what time it is. 

Shiro wears a sweater Allura made him with a poorly sewn reindeer with only one antler on the front, tacky, bright colored balls of fluff stitched into the green fabric. She made them all one, but the rest of them are saving theirs for the next day. 

Hunk keeps adding different things to the cookies, trying to find the best combination, but they’ve all tasted great so far, Lance is _not_ complaining. 

Allura and Coran keep pressing for more Christmas stories from the paladins, eager to learn more about snow and Rudolph and whoever this Santa person is. 

It is, as far as Lance is concerned, a good way to begin his Christmas with his little makeshift family. 

Lance was planning on waiting until tomorrow to pull Keith aside, but he’s impatient as ever and Keith looks especially good tonight. He’s smiling, something he doesn’t do often enough, and it’s doing funny things to Lance’s heart. 

When they run out of edible cookies, they clean up and start to head their separate ways to get some sleep so they can be up bright and early to open presents. Lance follows Keith out of the kitchen and waits until Pidge disappears around the corner in front of him before he tugs on Keith’s jacket and rocks back on his heels when he has his attention. 

“Walk with me for a minute?” Lance asks, hopes this isn’t too weird. Keith shrugs and nods for Lance to lead so he tucks his hands into his pockets and drags his feet back down the hall and heads for the observation deck. 

They walk in silence, Lance trying to find the right words while Keith waits. It’s so easy to flirt when he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t know how to do this seriously and he’s terrified of rejection. It’s not like he can really avoid Keith if this all goes to shit, but he hadn’t thought about that before right now. He’s panicking a little.

“Did you need something, Lance?” Keith asks when Lance starts to pace. 

“Yes.” Lance spins, wags a finger at him then shakes his head, “No. I mean, there’s _something_ , but I don’t really…” He makes a frustrated noise and pulls on his hair.

“Is something wrong?” Keith presses, a little lost because Lance isn’t making much sense. He wants to ask if it’s about Lance’s family, if he just doesn’t want to be alone, but if that’s not it, he doesn’t want to bring it up. 

“I didn’t get you anything for Christmas.” Lance blurts.

Keith’s eyebrows knit together. They’d gone their own ways in the mall specifically to shop for each other, “But we, I thought... Well, that’s fine. I don’t really want anything anyway.” He shrugs. He’s never been materialistic and he had a hell of a time picking something out for Lance so maybe it was the same for him. 

“I wanted to. I was going to get you a knife, but you already have that one and I heard Pidge talking about getting one for you so I didn’t end up doing that and I couldn’t find anything else that I thought you’d like, but there was something I wanted to do anyway so,” Lance steps a little too close, hands reaching for Keith’s. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Keith insists, lets Lance takes his hands.

“Listen,” Lance squeezes Keith’s fingers in his hands, “I’m as bad at this as you probably are and this is going to be really cheesy, but that’s the way I was raised and I know I act like an idiot around pretty girls, but I’m an even bigger idiot around you. Go ahead and try to guess why that is. No, actually don’t do that. 

“I think you’re probably the lamest person I know. Your gloves are stupid as hell, but I love them. I love your hands.” He squeezes again and threads their fingers together, “I love your stupid hair, especially when you tie it back, you look so good like that. 

“You’re so hotheaded and it’s probably going to get you killed, to be honest, like do you ever chill? But I love that too. I love that you give a hundred and ten percent even when you don’t think you can. You don’t think you can lead this team, but you did and I watched you learn how to keep going even without Shiro. I just…” He bites his bottom lip, his cheeks warm from embarrassment. “I like you. I like everything about you and I have for a lot longer than I realized.”

Keith ducks his head, silently cursing his heart for trying to beat out of his chest. How is he supposed to respond to that? “I hope you don’t expect some well thought out speech because I haven’t had enough time.” 

Lance laughs, “You think that was well thought out? I just wanted you to know. It’s Christmas, or almost, and I didn’t get you anything because all I kept thinking about was that stupid Mariah Carey song and I miss my family. I’ve said it a hundred times, but it’s worse now more than ever because you guys are great, but…”

“But it’s not the same. I don’t think any of us expect you to be all smiles all the time, Lance. Pidge and Hunk have been doing their best to keep your mind off what you’re missing, but we all know it still hurts and I can only imagine. Losing Shiro hurt like a bitch, but I bet that’s only scraping the surface of what you feel without your whole family.” Keith aches when he watches tears roll down Lance’s cheeks. He pulls his hands from Lance’s to wipe them away with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, I’m no good at this. 

“One day when we’re back home, right around this time of year, you’ll be surrounded by your family and you’ll be able to proudly tell them all about the Christmas you spent in space with you half alien family and the boyfriend you didn’t get jack shit for because you think all he likes are knives.” Keith smiles when Lance laughs even if it sounds wet and thick with emotion, “You’ll see them again, Lance. I promise, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Lance nods and wraps his fingers around Keith’s wrists, his hands still holding his face. “You just called yourself my boyfriend.”

“Isn’t that what you want?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s all I want for Christmas.” Lance grins when Keith cringes.

“You weren’t kidding about the song, huh?”

Lance clears his throat, “I don’t want a lot for Christmas,” he starts, but Keith clamps a hand over his mouth, laughing. 

“Alright, I get it. But you’re also getting a sweater, so.” 

Lance squawks under his hand, tugging it away to pout, “You’ve ruined the surprise.”

Keith grins at him, hooks a finger in his collar to tug him down the few inches that separate them, “Oops.” He mumbles then kisses Lance. 

It’s not perfect, but nothing with them is. Lance still misses his family and Keith doesn’t know a goddamn thing about relationships or love, but this feels like a pretty good place to start.


End file.
